part 3

A man in the crowd said, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."

When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.

Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"

"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

"'If you can?'" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for one who believes."

Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

imagine the scene.

a crowd of religious men who've missed the mark, a desperate father, a child thrown into a demonic fit and Jesus.

how should the story go?

Jesus should heal the boy, sort out the religious, and everyone can go home happy.

but the majority of his attention goes to the father in this story. why?

i can't know what Jesus was thinking and won't be able to comprehend His wisdom.

but when i put myself in the shoes of this father, i can at least begin to understand. maybe...

because when i relate to the father, i realize his need for healing, freedom and restoration was as great as his son's need.

and i realize how much healing, freedom and restoration i have experienced.

i've never been possessed by a demon, afflicted with serious illness or trapped by addiction.

it could be so easy to look around and see everyone else's obvious need for a Healer.

but Jesus came to look me in the eye, to heal me, to change my heart.

to infuse my life with hope, faith and love.

and He has.

inspiring me to cry out for help in the midst of my unbelief.

pounding walls of cynicism, fear and pride into dust.

and then teaching me to live in open spaces, free from restriction.

everyone else that day saw the son, but Jesus saw the father.

and i love Him for that.

part 2

it's taken me forever to write this because, honestly, i didn't realize how personal this story is. and yet i feel like i really need to keep writing, so maybe it's not just me who will find that this hits close to home....definitely too close for comfort.

can anyone relate to this father?

i know i can.

cynicism comes easy to me. easier than having faith, easier than hoping.

rather than hoping for the best, it's easier to expect the worse. and for some reason cynicism seems cooler than hoping. but i wonder if we elevate cynicism so we don't have to challenge ourselves?

once i can pinpoint what the worst outcome might be, i come to the conclusion that i have to depend on myself, because there are just some things in this life i can't control. and if i'm not in control, i will end up disappointed. because everything else will fail, but somehow i won't...

sounds kinda crazy, i know. but in all my attempts to be independent, i doubt that i'm alone in this.

so, to continue the story....

one day the father hears about another Healer, but this one is rumored to have "healing in His wings."

out of love for himself he guards his heart against the hope that springs up and out of love for his son he ignores the bitter feelings spreading across his chest. they leave early in the morning, he can't bear to see the hope in his wife's eyes for fear that he might start to hope.

the father stands and watches as religious men attempt, and fail, to heal his son until the Healer finally appears. He is visibly disappointed that the other men were not able to bring healing, it seems like He believed that they could.

and as his son is thrown into another fit, the Healer looks past the boy and straight into the eyes of the father.

why? can't He see that the young boy is the one with the obvious need?